Green is my favorite color. Once I thought it was grey. Or red. But I was wrong. It’s definitely green.
Plants are green. I love plants and have a lot of them.
Plants require attention and maintenance. Aside from simple watering, how about turning on some classical beats or Solfeggio harmonics in the evening? Your green babies will be flowering and blooming like crazy business! Plants like long walks and sunsets, too. But who has that kind of time? Not me.
Talking to your plants isn’t required. Maybe at first when you bring them home and you’re just getting to know each other. That’s appropriate. But after the first week or two, they can pretty much read your mind, so talking to them is almost insulting.
Be careful where you tread! I once had a Monstera leaf gouge my nose hole while I sang him a song and watered his soil. My singing must've been off key …i don't know. We never really talked it through.
Plants don’t suffer fools. They know if you’re only pretending to like them. They’ll die on you just to prove a point…so no hypocrites, please.
If you’ve given plants a fair shake but they just won’t shake back- no matter how hard you shook, which was probably pretty hard, because they just wouldn’t effing grow!- FAUX plants may be your answer. You’ll get the look and feel of oxygen & health, without all of the hassle.
Using faux plants do come with certain guidelines. Please don’t slap together cheap green crap and think that will pass muster. Just cause they're faux, doesn’t mean they're stupid.
Here are the 3 must-do’s for creating a verdant illusion of you own.
- Good $tuff: Look for soft silicone-like specimens, with plump petals and parts. Succulents, vines, large leaves, stalks and branches. Remember, silk flowers don't fool anyone.
- Co-existence: To achieve the highest visuals, the faux must be integrated with the real. One or two living plants is all it takes and I swear, no one will know which is which.
- Upkeep: The faux stuff collects dust. It sits there day after day, never moving, growing, living…asking nothing from you- which of course, is everything. Give your faux friends a rinse off every 1- 2 months and the relationship will continue gloriously for as long as you choose.
The color green, be it through plants, fabric, paint, or just inexperience, is the friendliest color around. And there’s a shade for everyone.
Smoke & mirrors my friends!